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Little adventurer // www.waggonerhaus.comLittle adventurer // www.waggonerhaus.com

Today was an interesting one. So many wins and many not so winning moments. First off, I have to say that I am constantly impressed by this girl’s smarts. She is (what I’m assuming, at least..) basically potty training herself right now. I apologize in advance for any gross visuals, but it is a crappy topic after all. Last night, she began to strip off all of her clothes and nearly got her diaper off when she said, “poopoo!” So I took off her diaper and rushed her to the little potty. She did the signature pooping grunt/face, but nothing came of it, so I put her in the bath and got her ready for bed.

Then this afternoon I was going to the restroom and she pointed at me on the toilet, then to her bottom and said, “poopoo”, yet again. So I hurriedly got her undressed and sat her on her potty, gave her a book to read, turned on Elmo’s Potty Time on YouTube, while she got get off and on her training toilet. She stood next to the toilet as the flatulence and some more serious poop-faces started and as I picked her up to put her back on, a solid one plopped on the floor, then another. This sort of stuff doesn’t bother me so much; Nic on the other hand… I’m just glad he wasn’t home to witness this. I scooped the turds up off the floor with a wipe, put it in her toilet and praised her. “Yay!! Charlotte went poopoo in the potty! Mama is so proud of you!”

She was beaming. We then proceeded to call her daddy and both of her grandmothers to brag about her big accomplishment.

Earlier in the day held a not so proud moment. Remember that time we were going to experiment with a Whole Foods, Plant-Based diet? That only lasted a measly 24 hours. However, I haven’t been able to get the whole subject out of my brain over the past couple of months. So I’ve been slowly making the transition, removing meat and dairy from nearly all of the meals I cook (I’m still slacking when it comes to eating out of our home). This lifestyle is not for the faint of heart, especially if you’re the only one in your household sticking to it. For lunch today, I had prepared a feast full of quinoa, roasted sweet potato fries, red potatoes, and broccoli. Nic asked me, “so… that’s our lunch?” with a hint of disappointment. He is quite the carnivore, after all.

I began to throw nearly the worst temper tantrum an adult woman could have. As I got out chicken to prepare it for his meal, I looked over our messy counters, I spied not an inch of space available. I noticed a small section where our glass blender sat. I shoved it to the back of the counter, quite forcefully, where it smashed against the granite backsplash and met its final death. R.I.P., ya piece of crap. It was on the verge of busting anyway; it constantly leaked while blending. If only a Vitamix were in our near future.

Moral of the story is that you win some, you lose some, and you vow to be a better wife the next time you disagree.. or at least you’ll try to be better; after your period starts and ends and you’ve had a fist or two full of chocolate.
Little adventurer // www.waggonerhaus.comLittle adventurer // www.waggonerhaus.comLittle adventurer // www.waggonerhaus.commagical bubbles // www.waggonerhaus.commagical bubbles // www.waggonerhaus.commagical bubbles // www.waggonerhaus.comwww.waggonerhaus.com

This photo below cracks me up because she started saying “knuckles” and trying to fist bump the bubbles.Fist-bumping bubbles // www.waggonerhaus.com

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little lashes.Looking like a girl without screaming "mommy

| Charlotte’s outfit |
chambray shirt & denim leggings: Target
navy-gray cardigan & tan flats: Old Navy
Headband: Love Amalie Maren

More often than not, I’m asking Charlotte in the mornings, “so…. what do you want to do today?” I try to get out of the house with her at least once in the day, but with this cold weather (I have been a HUGE weenie this winter. I know a low of 40 degrees should not be that cold… but it is) it’s hard to muster the desire to go outside. However, I know it is SO important for our emotional well-being, so I gather up all of the courage (and layers) I can, and we head to the park, run errands, or other fun things we can think of.

When it comes to getting Charlotte ready for the day, she’s lucky if she gets a bow or headband in her hair. Doing her hair (or changing her diaper/clothes, or basically forcing her to do anything she doesn’t want to do) is like wrestling an alligator. She just will not sit still. Most days I manage to get only one hair tie in to keep it out of her eyes. Today she sat patiently while I got TWO hair ties AND a headband! Granted, I didn’t get to tie the extra knot the headband needed, so it’s a little wonky, but I don’t even care. We’re counting it as a win!

She allowed me to get a few things at the Home Depot before the meltdowns commenced (am I the only one that loves Home Depot like most women love Target? I almost walked out of there with 3 new projects, a Fiddle Leaf Fig, and an inconsolable toddler). We then picked up some treats at Starbucks and ran a couple more errands, attempting to take photos in between, but Charlotte was having none of it. I made a spur of the moment decision to go to Moon Valley Nursery, where we were both much happier wandering between rows of herbs, vegetables, and trees; at least until the need for a nap was clearly evident. So I left, crying babe and basil plant in hand.

I feel like I am unprepared and scrambling last minute to think of activities to do outside of the house in this mild (but obviously still slightly frigid) Arizona winter. I want to start building a list of things to do in advance and I’d love for your help! What do you and your toddler/kids like to do?

Looking like a girl without screaming "mommyMoon Valley Nursery // www.waggonerhaus.comLooking like a girl without screaming "mommyLooking like a girl without screaming "mommyPlant picking // www.waggonerhaus.comCommencing meltdown in 5...4...3...2...1...Pre-Nap Tantrums

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I was a victim of a sexual assault. // www.waggonerhaus.comI was a victim of a sexual assault. // www.waggonerhaus.comI was a victim of a sexual assault. // www.waggonerhaus.comI was a victim of a sexual assault. // www.waggonerhaus.com

Tonight I witnessed a man choking his girlfriend. I will get back to this in a moment, but first I want to share a really personal story.

I was a victim of a sexual assault. I have been reluctant to say those words out loud because of the technicalities around the situation. Few have heard this story. I cringe whenever I talk about it.

I can’t remember the exact date, nor can I remember many details. But I do remember so much of that night.

A little backstory:

There was a boy I was severely infatuated with for nearly 2 years. I was a few months shy of 14, he was 17. He was deceivingly charming, the kind of sweet that the devil himself played on Eve. He was the first boy I talked to in the small town we had just moved to; he was my first kiss. That summer, we dated for 2 whole weeks. After 2 weeks of telling my parents I was going over to hang out with him and his kid sister, when really we were sneaking kisses alone (at one point he was trying to stick his hands up my shirt–which should have given me clues), he made up a really lousy excuse to break up with me. I hated him. I dated other boys. I liked him. I hated him. I dated other boys. I liked him. I moved back to the city during that time, but we casually kept in touch.

Fast forward almost 2 years and several boyfriends later. He had just broken up with another girl (who was a previous friend of mine from the small town), he was going to be in the city visiting cousins and wanted to hang out. I remember it was a chilly night in the fall. He was now almost 19 and a month away from going on a mission for the church (ironically). I was 15 and now a sophomore in high school. I lied to my parents, saying I was going to go to a football game with a friend, but instead this friend and I snuck off with these boys. I remember walking through the Chandler mall, feeling his hand squeeze my butt several times (what a great way to say hello after not seeing each other for about a year *eye roll*). I was uncomfortable, but part of me liked the attention.

We left the mall and headed on the road to his cousin’s house where no adults were present. I remember being on the freeway, inches from colliding with another car, wondering how I would have explained the whole situation to my parents. Had I known what was coming in the next hour, I would have preferred the car accident.

Much of that night was a blur because this boy I liked so much was actually giving me all of his attention; that is a brain-fogging situation for a boy-crazy teenager. However, the painful moments I do remember were of laying with him alone on his cousin’s trampoline, under blankets. He had his hand down my pants and I reluctantly laid there, awkwardly kissing, while simultaneously crying and shaking like a leaf. When he had finished getting whatever sort of pleasure he was after, he took me home. He proceeded to half-heartedly apologize, using some really stupid analogy about a rope that made no sense whatsoever. All I could think was, “please stop talking and drive faster so I can get away from you.”

A month later, like nothing had happened, he had left for his mission to spread the message of our Savior’s atonement and God’s love… I had found out shortly after he left that he was again dating the previously mentioned girl and she was exclusively his girlfriend until he came home from serving the Lord. I couldn’t stand back and let her be deceived by him so I recounted that awful night’s event to her. She was smart and left him and I have felt no remorse for his loss.

I have always felt uncomfortable even thinking that I was a victim of a sexual assault. There have always been thoughts in the back of my mind, “maybe I brought it upon myself by lying to my parents and sneaking off with a boy. Maybe I asked for it rhetorically through my actions that night.” 

Regardless of technicalities, I am lucky enough to not be the victim of a full-on, violent rape, but I will forever dread these memories. I have always thought, “why did I have to go through that?”

And tonight I think I may have found my answer.

I was on my way home and was about to turn a corner when I noticed a man and woman standing in the street, facing away from my vehicle. It almost looked as though he were hugging her around her neck. He towered over her with a hint of dominance in his stance; something told me to stop. I rolled down my window, they were still ignoring the fact that I stopped. I yelled out my window from 30 feet away, “Hey! Is everything okay?” He let go of her and started walking away. I could hear her gasping for air. “Do I need to call someone?”

The woman, who couldn’t have been much older than I, held back sobs, “No, we’re fine,” with what I imagine was almost a plea in her voice. They started walking back towards their apartment building, separately. I called Nic, asking what I should do, his own patrol vehicle’s sirens blaring in the background, “call the police, now!”

As I hung up with the 911 operator after giving her all of the information I could, I began to cry for this woman I knew nothing about.

I wondered, will this woman hate me for calling if her boyfriend is found and arrested, or will she feel relief? Does he support her financially? Was she afraid to get out of this relationship? Will she have anywhere to go? Does she know there are resources for those leaving abusive relationships?

How does my previous experience compare to the one tonight? Sometimes we feel forced into things we don’t feel comfortable with by people we thought we trusted. And while these two instances are not exactly the same, I’m still left with a deeper understanding and an answer to another question I have been asking myself.

“Why?” What is the why behind my intentions of building a business? I knew my generic why’s: to be able to buy organic groceries for my family and not worry about the cost, to not have to fret over every single dollar spent. But now my deeper why: To help those in any situation of abuse, get out of it. I’ve decided that whatever monetary benefits I receive, I want someone in need to receive also. I’m still developing the storefront of my business, however, a portion of every future purchase I want to go towards a foundation that helps victims of abuse.

I still don’t know if the officers found the couple or if anything resulted from my phone call to the police, but I do know that I don’t want my experience tonight and the life of this woman and all women in abusive relationships to go unnoticed.

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  • Betsy - January 3, 2017 - 9:58 am

    This was hard to read on many levels, but so glad you have put this out there and listened to the Spirit to help that woman.ReplyCancel

  • Joe - January 4, 2017 - 6:12 am

    Sarah…

    Wow, I read this and was filled with so many different emotions…

    THANK YOU for calling 911.
    THANK YOU for confronting them, breaking up the situation.
    THANK YOU for writing this.

    I’m going to read this to my oldest two children when I get home from work tonight. My oldest is my twelve year old son Alex. I want him to know how your experience has affected you, I want him to know that his actions in the future need to be exemplary, that he must behave righteously. My oldest daughter just turned ten. That feels very young for me to share something like this with her, but time is compressing. What began with you at age fourteen will happen to girls today even younger. :( I need her to know to the core of her being that being embarrassed or frightened is NOT a reason to allow someone to treat her wrong. I need her to trust her instincts and to reject that which is not as it should be. But I also need her to know that this is not easy, and that she will not be the first to experience this struggle. And I will hate every aspect of having to have that conversation with her.

    I cannot afford the luxury of deluding myself into thinking that my children don’t need to know about this kind of thing at such young ages.

    You are a brave, beautiful, wonderful lady from a spectacular family. And even you endured a person with no love of humanity. :(

    All I can think to tell you is that I have said prayers for you as well as this lady you saw and I sincerely hope only the best for you both.ReplyCancel

Hey friend! So I’ve been asked a lot about my hair routine and how I get great looking curls for my short hair. Props to my hair stylist, Hillary Henslee for her wisdom, because she taught me all of this when she chopped my hair off. If you’re in the Arizona East Valley, I HIGHLY suggest going to her at Pallette Collective in Chandler for all of your hair needs. She is the bomb!

Without further adieu (it has been months in the works), here is my hair tutorial for you:

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